fearful of what tml will bring

tml i will go to a very stressful, challenging and painful place... it will be suffering. it will be hell... it will be the place where only cocksters survive... i realli wonder how will i survive? i noe its the frens, but the thot of the pain and suffering that realli bugs me.. not the physical pain of cos.. that i can withstand.. its the mental pain... more specifically, the very high lack of slp.... my weaknesses are the dark and slp... night is like sacred to me i guess.. but then again, night is when the enemy loves to strike. i will have to adapt...

i realli dun noe what to say.. u noe my fren said something that kinda stuck to me.. "when u are crawling in pee and shit, its nice to have a gal. Cos at least you noe there is something to keep you goin in hell..." i sure as hell couldnt disagree with him... it may seem like love struck and stuff but some times, when i do those pumping when i get tekan.. when the scream in ur face, i wonder why i'm doing all these.. what light is there at the end of the tunnel... i dun noe.. but i think i'll just get to the end and find out what the light is?

CYA all 9 mths from now.. hopefully, i would have lasted that long.. BYEZ

ironies of life

I took my S papers becos i wanted to be a scholar... when i got my results, i was happy... i didnt do as well as most scholars, but i was proud to have achieved what i did, becos i knew it was with the pint of sweat that i saved the gallon of tears... and isnt it ironic... some ppl want my marks.. but the qn is wat real value does my marks hold? they show neither strength nor character. Instead, they hold a pressure and stress to perform and excel... i applied for a lot of schoalrship.. and all i need is one.. the most crazy thing will be that they will want interviews... so many interviews.. non-stop... i already have two on one day!!! its gonna be crazy.. crazy totally.

My dad just asked me why i dun wanna go overseas.. i dun realli noe how to tell him... Living in Singapore will let me do things that i nvr had a chance... To meet and stay with the frens i have... To enjoy an education that can still meet inernational standards... To learn abt the country i call home.. to do things i have nvr attempted b4... i lost all that to mugging.. and i dun wish to waste my time travelling in and out of the country... i want a balanced life that i noe i cannot achieve overseas. its not that i dun want to give it a try.. but i cannot afford to give it a try... it is not a chance i am willing to take, to fail... maybe for my masters or something i will go.. but for now, i dun think i can go..

i think its quite funny life.. life.. makes u wish u were on the other side. Sometimes, i wish i didnt work so hard... didnt take s paper... but i chose a hard way... i dun noe how it will turn out... and in a way thats gd cos it will only spoil the fun... One day it will turn out fine.. one day it will turn out alright.. i know god has shown me that life moves down many a path. But they always lead to the same destination. BUAIZ

PASSING OUT PARADE!!!!!

SIA LAH!!! i P.O.P leh... no more a bloody maggot... i have been promoted.. to a maggot... ok lah.. not much difference... but at least i get to keep me hair???!?!!?

i think perhaps, army will be one of the best experience in my life... i was pushing to my physical limits. I was given the opportunity to be part of an elite corp of ppl... the jaguar platoon2... we had our laughters, we had our cries. we had our pleasures, we had our pain. we joked and made merry, we fought and quarrelled. We bled together, we healed together and we fought and pushed on together... And although we only known each other for 9wks, i see them more than i have seen anyone before... who else do u slp with 6 days a wk.. and see them 24hrs a day? They hold a special place in my heart. They have and always will be my special band of brothers...

The things i want to pen down, the memories i have to hold, are far too many for me to blog... its not that i'm lazy... just that i have too much to say... perhaps when i have the time, i will write.. but for now, all i want to say...is

THANK YOU PLATOON TWO!!! YOU HAVE MADE ME A BETTER PERSON!!!