hanging on to a hope that wasnt there to start...

i will be goin to my interview later... i realli dun noe how i can compete with those ppl. i see the past yr's ones... one is a champion chess player... another is a champion fencer... another one won the gold award for outstanding student on Ngee Ann Poly.. and then i look at wat i have achieved... nothing much... in fact, the JC period, i have nothing to show for wat i have done... no award to say i performed outstanding in odac.. and with ppl like hui han and manu... i have nothing to show i did well academically... And this interview... frightens me... if they ask tough qns, i noe i cannot get it... but if they ask too easy qns, others will do better... haiz... i realli dun want to just be another one of those small scholars that SAJC has and can only produce... when u tell ppl u are from hc or rj.. they go woah... but then sa they like..."oh realli ah..." i realli wanna be the one to break this stigma.. but it seems like "li bu chong xin"

I just did my research on DSTA... i realise wat i wrote in my essay was totally what they were looking for... no shit... cos i was bullshitting... i'm not realli interested in preventive and protection technologies... i just felt that it was a very very important part of singapore's development.. i didnt expect to get interviewed... and for some reason, i feel like anyone who completed the application got interviewed lah... so no big deal... now i really headache leh... on one hand i want it... on the other hand, i dun think i will get it... sianz... always these hc ppl rj ppl getting the best of everything.. how do i make some space for myself...

aiyah.. just have to cross my fingers.. and if i dun get it, i guess i will be disappointed lah... but at least, i come out a little more learned... BUAIZ