Tuesdays with Morrie

Been reading this book called "tuesday with morrie"... erm... a lot of ppl have heard of it.. and i can say very frankly, the person has a very interesting outlook on life. In a sense, some of what is written in it, i have spent an awful lot of time thinking abt b4... esp the part abt wat we are looking for in life... but quite frankly, at least for us, or maybe me... barely 18... wat have we experienced in life that renders us fully able to comprehend the book? most of us have not experienced death second hand nor have we been exposed to the harsh realities of working life. So, to be very very honest, i dun quite noe what to do with this information that i have with me. On one hand, i know and believe that i have this opportunity. To work realli hard and to become a successful businessman, researcher or what not.. if i tried hard enuff.. and i believe everyone has this chance. But on the other hand, i have the opportunity to let that go and just live life peacefully, goin to far reaches of places to do volunteer work and basically just see places...

For one thing, i noe how hard i have to work to get the former's success. I practically wasted 4 yrs trying to get good grades. Only to find out that 4 yrs from then, that it doesnt realli matter anymore. So what if i have gd grades? if i have scholarships? i lost so very very much... i lost contact with my parents. i lost friendships and social skills. I lost time and i lost my eye sight to books... and for that matter, i lost myself when i burying myself alive in academic pursuits and these are things that are far far far more importnat to gd grades. Now more than ever, i'm convinced that such material success, if it can be called success at all, is meaningless. Now that JC has ended, i suddenly find myself lost. Where do i go from here? Who do i count on? Wat do i do? I realli dont noe... I dun noe who i am. Wat i am... quite frankly now, i dun even noe if i want a military career. And true torture comes when u are doin it alone... how did i let myself slip to this??? so bend on studying i rejected anyone in life.. farnie isnt it? how ppl always wanna get gd results? but i will trade them all to live a life like yours.

Tml will be a new day. I hope i will learn to pick up the pieces from there. Change things. Amazing how blogging can help me straighten my thoughts. I feel relieved and de-stressed liao. I know what i must do... Where i will go... Tml i will be wat i haven been in a long long time... happy.... NITEZ