A promise kept...a sorrow wept

Ok.. i promised XH that i will tok abt something today.. so today.. my blog will only be talking abt it (or her)... hahaha!!!

Ok. whats so mysterious? haha... i was telling xh that the odac guys shld each pick up one gal for grad nite... and be her escort... not date.. haha... so he replied and said... " well.. that settles for u and me" HAHA.... u noe he settled for who lah.. so yah... he's booked! so is she... haha... and as for me? i think everyone knows he was hinting abt bacca lah... ok... divert for a moment..

My fren was asking if i still liked becca... i replied... its bacca... she was like.. how come her name so different... and i replied... everything abt her is different.. i will elaborate more abt that later... so she said... but she's attached leh... usually the ppl who are attached are offlimit.... so i replied... sighz... thats why i pretend like nothing like that lah... haiz...

Now thats where the problem lies... she is so... so... so,.... cool and classy.... i mean... I told her not to dao me if she rejected me..( which she very obviously did... but very irritatingly did it in a way that only made me admire her more...) but now, look at that man! i feel so memerised in her presence that sometimes, i drag myself away from her.. haha... sounds like infatuation... yah.. probably... and she is like so treat me so friendly... SO FRIENDLY!!! no discomfort... no coolness... no arrogance.. nothing leh... i cna seriously say that few gals can have that maturity and strength to do that leh (even if she is acting that way)... thats wat i so like abt her... but unfortunately, she's taken... lucky bastard.. and even if she isnt, she wouldnt be with me... why would she... there are guys who are a thousand times sweeter, nicer, smarter, richer, handsomer.... with her character and grace, she can have any guy she wants... and lets all face it... do u seriously think that the shows are real? that if u persist, u will get the gal.. that some miralce happens and u heroically saves her? or boyfren broke up with her and u SO happen to be there? come on... i noe some think that i'm being pessimistive.. but there is a fine fine fine line btwn that and realistic.. and seriously.. i cannot totally cannot ever imagine her and me together... maybe ironically, like the shows always say... "for her sake, she deserves better." thats why i dun want to take her to prom. becos i dun want to carry on lying to myself that some miracle will happen.. that the impossible is possible...

i think the song "where are u" by soluna has a lot of meaning...: "i noe there's someone out there. I noe she's waiting so patiently. Can u tell me her name? this life long search is just driving me insane" Some how the one will be there.... and yes there is this hope lingering in me that she is... but i dun think so... nvm.. life must go on... even.... even.. even... if love nevers....NITEZ