Quite happy quite sad quite confused

sighz... ok.. i must say today i was pretty happy! cos of my results... so far... physics paper1:25... physics paper3:91 and GP paper2:35.5!!! very high rite? yah thats why so happy... but i wonder what the rest will be.. i'm not keeping my hopes up too high... i've fallen much to often to let that happen again.. tml i will noe more... tml the danger will be greater... now that i have greater pressure to do better... sigh... i hope i did well... prays....

in another way, its sometimes not so gd lah... the class did better this time round lah i think... but the thing is that i did even better so i'm trying my best not to mention abt marks lah... marks are not realli as important as many ppl think.. i will talk abt that later... but as i was saying, i'm trying to be as sensitive abt my marks... not mentioning it... and trying to comfort and console those who didnt do as ideally... mostly gals as u noe.. they are more affected by such things... so ok lah... hate it when ppl keep kb ing me abt my marks.. i dun mind it if u do it privately lah... like Alvin ah!! argh.. he always announce to the whole class my marks lah!!! and its like i dun realli want to rub salt in ppl's wounds but he does it for me and uses my salt... dotz... but i dun hate him lah.. just maybe he needs to learn to be a bit more sensitive... haha... then again who am i to reprimand him...

As i was saying, marks arent realli as important as most ppl think.. marks are realli seondary... i chose this route because i was just too young then to fully understand the conseqeunce of this path... and now i cant turn back.. because if i turn back now, i'm just plain nothing.. but to those who are my age and decide to turn mugger estrada, pls dun.. unless u are already in ur last stretch then by all means... but seriously, adults always tell u that its beat to work hard? i can tell u... i've worked so freaking hard for 6 yrs.. i have no social skills.. no technical skills.. no nothing.. i'm crap.. i was a loser in the past.. in primary sch.. now i'm just crap... but i will eventually reach a stage that i will excel in.. soon soon.. i just have to be patient and endure.. the strike is near... the day the end the destiny is approaching soon... then again, the grass is always greener on the other side...

i got one thing to say leh... i may not seem like i care.. but hey no one likes being called ugly or loser.. haah.. the irony? but yah u cannot imagine being called that all ur life... thats why i say i cant stop living in the past.. it just wouldnt let me go... then today, i waited for yizhi hp and cheryl to finish eating lah.. help them return plate mah... but its like wg saw that and then say i was being made use of.. but i azk u... it is that bad meh? is it realli that bad? ok.. i may be biased toward gals.. but wth!!! i fucking do that for guys sometimes too lah!!! dotz... never mind... i dun realli care what he says... still goin to do it.. and yah for one thing, i dun noe why ant likes to pick on me? call me losuy stuff.. haha... i noe he dun mind it to offend lah.. so i dun hate him, but for one thing i think he thinks too highly of himself... i'm not proclaiming myself as humble.. but he need to learn a bit of humility... i can for one tell u that what i cant do, i will tell u straight in the face i cant do... no pt hiding.. and maybe thats why he probably doesnt look up to me.. because i cant do a lot of thing...

To end, i must say that hui fang's new bag doesnt look very nice! haha... and somemore i supposedly bought it for her.. haha... lucky sia.. i thot wc never tell hf that i contributed haha.. but even if she didnt i couldnt have possibly thick skin until tell hf that i did rite? haha... pray for me man. i realli need to pray that tml will be ok.. NITEZ!!