A new day begins

Ok... dotz... today is the new day at sch.. oh man... tried my very very very best not to slp.. but still dozed off!!! its kinda boring listening to the teachers.. haha...yah...but seriously speaking.. i was looking thrg the chem today, the objectives yah??? They thot us like all the nonsense lah... haha... so slping wasnt that bad after all!!! BUT!!! must keep awake lah.. its the last leg of the race.. like the bible said..." i have fought the good fight, i have completed the race, i have kept the faith..." i must do the same thing...
Sighz... today is like the rehearsal day for the college day... i was wondering what would have happened had i joined another cca or in this case put in more effort... to be frank, i still think i have gd leadership qualities... seriously... i noe some ppl dun feel that way lah... i totally agree!!! cos its my fault... but i do feel misunderstood... i'm some one who cant do anything rite if i dun feel the passion for something... to me, odac is like a passing thrg kinda thing. I didnt realli feel any attachment or even commitment to it... i guess it all started when they called me arrogant bah.... shld have known... to be frank, (i noe this sounds very irresponsible) but i think i shldnt have joined odac... cos i'm not realli very interested in what they do... and most importantly, MY POST!!! argh!!! i knew from the start that it was a post of blaming... i was handled the store with no idea what to do with it... it was like starting from scratch lah!!! i have never done serious logistics before and its not as easy as most ppl think... there is so much to do and so much to think abt... so yah i screw up... but i do learn from it.. and i guess i came out pretty gd after all... so i've promised myself... must must must hand it down properly... the next QM must neva have to go thrg what i did... he will get recognition for what he has done... and he will assist the pres to make odac even beta than what it was or what it ever will be....
Ok back to reality... today.. i saw her... i felt this deep sadness just thinking of her with someone else... i do realli like her... then suddenly i snapped out... i was thinking to myself what i was doing with my life... how stupid, immatured and dumb i could be... how could i allow a gal to rule over my life man... yes i like her... but face it man!!! she's with someone else... and even if she wasnt, she wouldnt like me... i'm not close to her and also, i'm still so kiddy.. haha... what i need to learn to do is to let go of what i fear to lose and grow up!!! i'm sure that somewhere out there, there will be someone who likes me and whom i like too rite?? life isnt goin to be too bad... of cos i feltsad the whole day lah.. haha but ok lah... tml... promise promise myself that i will NOT feel sad.. i will be the happy me!!! so that my frens will feel happi toking to me too....
Oh yah one last thing... got this stupid thing leh... learning fest... erm.. to be frank actually its not that dumb lah.. i'm just saying that for the pure fun or saying it.. its quite a gd and interesting idea actually... not many ppl actually have thot of that before... and must give credit to Mrs Ng for being able to get such a large event organised properly... realli wanna learn how she does it but its like off limits to students lah... haha... thinking abt joining the "who killed mr X"... sounds cool... but some ppl think its dumb.. that their problem lah... dun care them...
K... this is a supa dupa long blog... but who cares.. no one noes abt it... will tell a few selected ppl lah.. cos its like my diary... onli my closest frens shld ever noe.. haha...